For some reason on that Sunday, I initially rejected the negative words but then I thought about it. I’ve been trying to be careful of what I meditate on with God’s help during this season God has me in. But this time I allowed those words to be on repeat and sit with me. Have you ever done that? How did it end up?
I turned this, “I don’t want to be fat like you” situation over in every direction to dissect it to find out why I allowed it to get to me. It was deeper than the fat comment. Especially, after I know I had lost a few pounds these past couple of months. Then somebody tries to come for me to snatch my little encouragement away. Lies! But the devil will use what and who he can to steal from you after you’ve received something from God. It’s the truth. Here’s another truth we both know people always making side notes.
I’m a veteran at the losing-weight-game. So, of course, I’ve heard comments before from the same big-mouth Lucy-lips about my weight. They try to keep better track of it then my scale. But, I’ve gotten better at managing commentary, to keep it moving. Far. From. Them. I can no longer subject myself to people who are always looking to take what they can get from me but bring me down. Distance is a must.
But see the mind; as I kept thinking on what was said and the spirit behind it, I was like wait-a-Ritz-Cracker minute here. I saw what was going in this and I got mad. Not so much at them, but at myself. Because I taught So-and-so how to treat me, I did. How? By my response to their nonsense in the past, I permitted it. I gave them the green light to do this. by blowing it off and not dealing with it.
I had to remind myself, Sonya stop this! Don’t go back to Foolish Land. Run. You. Are. Not. Going to keep doing this to me. Something shifted. Check-that-devil mess! Deal with it. Tag it! Call it out!
This is something we talk about in TruU messages and in my book, Who I’ve Become. Dealing with issues and becoming your true person. Is there something you need to deal with in your life? Maybe, you did but it failed? What’s your spirit behind it? Everything has to line up in order to get the victory in God.
It’s really not about them, but you. What’s going inside your heart after negative encounters and dismissals?
I know I used to take myself through all kinds of energy zappers. Take a look. This is how I summed up my reactions, they were not consistent. I was in-and-out; it depended on the day that I’d be in one of the following states:
- First, I would get all emotional and choose not to say anything. But be all down and ruin my day and those around me. Next season, I acted like it didn’t bother me. Had to almost fast and pray to be around them and ’em.
- Another cycle, I shot back and hit them where it hurt with words. Flop. They didn’t get it.
- Last round, woke. I don’t deserve this, because it’s not God’s best for me. I gotta-let-you-go.
Thank God for growth over the years, and now. The clock and calendar moves, you get tired and realize you don’t need this. Look, God says I’ve got to love you but um, we won’t be partners, BFF’s and what-not. I have to guard my heart. Words in action are the most effective. I can’t change people, only God can do that. But I can govern my own actions.
I’ve realized this nugget my response must be consistent in order to retrain people on how to treat me (you). But I must apply the word-in-action-clause. God requires that I love them. I don’t have to announce to them what I’m going to do. I will show them what I won’t do. Actions I’ve allowed before, I won’t tolerate now.
It’s a new day; a new season. Don’t dare bring the old back. What went down in the old; has no place in the new.
Prayer points: Show me, Lord, why this angers or hurts me. Pray against bitterness and resentment in your heart. Pray for God’s love and balance to know how to deal with each person according to His will.