Sonya Visor

Are You Too Nice?

by | Apr 12, 2019 | Becoming TruU, Deal With It, Uncategorized

Are you too nice?

Can you see my raised hand over there? This is/was me all day until I had to shake myself loose!

To me, this is some-kind-of question. I mean seriously, isn’t being nice a good thing? It is. That’s what I used to think. I had the Rodney King mindset, “Can we all just get along?” When the nice thing is robbed; it is no longer ​good or right.

I know for a fact that I sometimes have the “too nice” syndrome. People tend to mistake it for weakness, but actually, it’s a strength. It takes strength to not retaliate when others mistreat you because they feel they have the right. Who gave them permission? It’s sad to say, we are partly the blame.

I learned a long time ago, hurting people hurt people. It’s like they are walking wounded and bleeding, ultimately spilling all over you. The “too-nice’ person find themselves trying to patch up their wounds, only to realize you’ve been cut by their scars of life. Most “nicey-nice” people are fixers, they want to help everybody stand up and do well. Sometimes, at the cost of putting themselves in harm’s way.

My friend always tries to convince me that people don’t really know what they are doing.​ Although this could be true, some are oblivious to how obnoxious they are. But then, there are those who know exactly what they are doing and don’t care that you know this.

It wouldn’t be right not to have those who feel entitled to treat people how they want. Meaning, some people feel “you owe them” so they trample your goodness. Isn’t that something? They actually believe you deserve what they dish out. Yes, I believe some of these acts are on purpose because people know the kind of heart the “nice’ people have. A tolerable one.

​People with the right kind of balance wouldn’t put up with the kind of mess that “nice syndrome” people take. They have it correct, why go around and stay around people who bring you down? What exactly are they serving at your table, to the relationship?

There are many reasons why people don’t do right by others. The last question is, how do you respond to their treatment? Are you hurt, sad or mad? Are you angry with yourself for allowing foolishness toward you? Where does their behavior take you in your heart and mind?

Search your heart, because that’s what you can control, to see what is really going on. There’s a reason why we allow people to treat us a certain way.

When you discover this, you will be able to balance yourself. Ask God to show you. Then you will No longer cast your pearls (your gift, acts of kindness) to the swine. You will rightfully divide when and where to sow your goodness. You will sow it in a place that can thrive and your peace restored.

Choose this day who you allow to trample all over your life, leaving you there to pick up the pieces.


Sonya Visor

Sonya Visor

Author/TruU Founder

Sonya’s passion is to help women unmask to become their authentic self in God.



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