The question from the people is not can we hold a grudge because you know the answer to that. Especially, if you are the one who’s in the right then we can possibly relate to one applying for a license to hold a grudge. But what if you are the one who’s wrong, now what? Tell us what gives you a license (the right) to hold a grudge? We, the people, really can’t get with you on that one. You should be making a new application in the “I’m sorry” line. Your grudge application will come back DENIED! In fact, both applicants of right and wrong don’t hold a case in God’s eyes.

It’s pride on both sides.

Pride gets in the way of saying I’m sorry or letting the other person off the hook for their error? Don’t get me wrong, you know I’ve been there and done that on both sides. There have been times when I was right and felt it wasn’t fair for me to get anything straightened out. After all, they were the ones who violated me. Then there were those many of times when I knew I was wrong and my pride (myself) kept me from a humbling state. I never really stayed mad too long, even if I tried. I know right. But the fact that I dwelt there any amount of time is dangerous. The key to all of this is forgiveness. I must forgive in order to be forgiven. It’s the Word.

Think on this: My life is not my own…today my soul or the other person’s soul could be required. Do I really want to be left living with an unsolved issue? The worst: dying with unforgiveness in my heart?

I will never forget this young man during the 911 tragedy. He said that morning of 911 he was mad at his father and didn’t tell him goodbye. He didn’t know that would be his last time seeing his dad. Can you imagine having to live with that? We can’t afford to be stuck on who’s right and wrong. I would like to encourage you to forgive. If you don’t know how; ask God to help you. The feelings won’t leave right away in some cases, but simply giving the person and the issue to God begins the process.

I go real before the King. You might say something like…

Forgive me Lord for holding onto this issue (name the situation)
Lord, I don’t know how to do this because ____________was wrong, but today I choose to forgive ______________.
Take these feelings (name them) from me. I give it to you Lord. I need you to help me to forgive and move forward in Jesus name. Lord, I thank you for hearing me and delivering me.

(Allow whatever comes up, to come out and you will experience a freedom. Please receive what God shows you about yourself as well.)
I’m praying that the yokes of yesterday be destroyed in the name of Jesus Christ!

Have you ever had somebody hurt you in a way that was unexplainable?

For a minute, you couldn’t even wrap your mind around what happened. It’s almost as if the situation went from zero to ten in 30 seconds or less. To make things worst, the argument or falling out was over some craziness AND just plain stupid! Now you sit and meditate on how did we get to this point over something so trivial. I mean the actions were too dramatic and definitely don’t line up with the “little” incident that started the entire episode. So now what? How do you make it alright with your girl, child, friend or significant other?

The Awkwardness
I’m sure this has happened to you more than once, but there are times when you don’t know how to move forward. You begin to question the relationship, the love that this person says they have for you because of what was said and done to you. Let’s not forget the point of them failing to say what you need to hear. Right.

Oh, and please don’t let the individual act as if they don’t know what happened or try to play the blame game. You know the one, if you hadn’t of done this, then I wouldn’t of done that…kind of thing. Here’s another one: “No, they didn’t just forget what happened! Are you really going to call, or skip by me acting like there’s no issue? Wow! Now we go to a level that will either make or break the relationship because no one will say what’s true by admitting their part.

The apology
Depending on how you live, the relationship resumes after some time. The silence breaker comes with a personal apology, phone call, text message or the person just becomes extra kind (Instead of saying i’m sorry). If it’s a deeper and intimate relationship here comes the kiss, you know the one that is supposed to wash away all of the pain. This is the kiss or hug that says, “You know I love you, SO let’s move on“. How do you respond to them?

What do you do? Are you cordial?
Do you smile and pretend like all is well?
Or do you give that person a piece of your mind?
Do you make them pay for what they have done?
Do you kiss them back and it does truly make things better?

Be real with it, what response heals your wounds?

For me, I have learned to accept a sincere apology and give my hurt to God because that is walking in the love of God. If I don’t do this, I know the cycle it takes me through because I haven’t healed. But, I do evaluate the relationship and if it’s time to close the door, I will. In my inner circle, we choose to keep it real to minimize any drama. I like the “nip it in the bud” approach. It’s okay to say what you mean and move forward positively. TruU means to call it what it is and deal with it. The kiss or closure only makes it better, if there’s resolve with the matter.