When suicide would come to visit me…
Posted by SonyaJan 7
In my late teens suicide came to visit me periodically and I was unaware of how my mood shifted at the presence of this dark spirit. I didn’t realize the power of how thinking on death brings it to you. Which is why some years later I found myself on my living room floor at a point of no return. Until God sent an angel, my son, to speak life to me.
I didn’t know that I was embracing the arms of death instead of telling myself there’s another way. No, instead I allowed dark thoughts to be deposited within my spirit, deep into my soul as I meditated on death and not the life I was given. Those thoughts would whisper back to me lies that were straight from the pit of hell with one theme only…just give up and die.
Coming from a home where there was love, I didn’t know what to do or how to deal with these dark places that I experienced. I just knew that it wasn’t right to ponder on such things. I felt as though there was no one I could talk to because surely no one else is thinking like this. To be honest, I couldn’t explain the place that I was in. All I can say is that it was God’s grace from somebody’s prayers that saved me from myself.
Silence is not the answer. If you have a family member, friend, co-worker or even a stranger you’ve encountered and you thought for a moment that they could possibly be having thoughts of suicide…PLEASE SAY A WORD OF HOPE TO THEM. Pray for them, smile and a simple, “This too shall pass” can hold a power that can destroy the pull of death. My plea to you is: Don’t just walk away and do nothing. Your very action could be the beginning of a new life for someone to embrace.
If it’s you who have thought about escaping your life because of the feelings of depression, YOUR BEST IS YET TO COME. See a glimpse of hope, change your mind and think on the good things, not the bad that you are experiencing. Face your trouble, look at it and don’t run from it. Your issue(s) are not lasting. Do what I did…I knelt before a holy God who put all the pieces back together and my life now has no emptiness. God has filled those places. You can do it, You will make it…YOU WILL LIVE.


Pastor Sonya, I love how you are so transparent with the things God has brought you out of! It is an encouragement to me, to let me know that I too, can go before a Holy God and be changed…your writings are such an inspiration to me! Love yah:)
Alana, you are moving in that same direction. Just continue in God, he’s got you. If being transparent will help somebody else come through their time of despair, I will show them my scars. The scars that God caused to be healed in my life. It’s about saving somebody else from the mistakes I’ve made in life. That’s my ministry girl…TruU. If I’m not tru, then what…
You get the picture. Love yah and thanks for being you!
Pastor Sonya, I am sooo proud of you and I am truly blessed to call you my Pastor. I am so thankful that you have told your story and allowed yourself to be vulnerable so you can save someone else’s life. This book and this blog is for someone who is comtemplating suicide right now! Someone who feels like their life has no meaning. I pray that you will continue to allow God to use you through your writing, preaching, and teaching. Muah! I love you!
Cheryl, (the best executive assistant to me) You and Gina are the best sisters! Thanks for your encouraging words. I appreciate your support and your help in getting the word out about the book and TruU! Your reward will be great (from the Lord, of course)…LOL. Be Tru to u girl…be tru to our God! Something great is happening right now!