Have you ever thought that just maybe…you could be the problem? Now don’t answer “No” so quickly…Be TRU…
Worry, as we all know is sin unto our God, but I still battle it today with a new name calling it “I’m just concerned”.
No, let me call it what it truly is: Worry. You know, the opposite of peace – what we say we have, when we really don’t have any peace at the time. What it is saying to me was, “You need to deal with the issues at hand!”
Let me share something with you that I went through in the process of writing, Who I’ve Become is NOT Who I Am.
As I was before the Lord, I saw a burden that I needed to release in his presence. It wasn’t long before I began to cry. Tired of the past couple of weeks where it seemed as though nothing was going right, but everything was. Only to find out that the opposition or negative feelings were coming from me getting to the finishing stages of my book. Everything I wrote and released into this book, I truly experienced it at some point in my life.
It seemed like everything that I testified about being free in the book, found its way to my door telling me that I wasn’t free. I experience the hurt, shame, being misunderstood from every angle and discouragement in this season that made me question and say again: Who is this person that I have become?
I repented so much this month that nobody could keep count, thank God. Being too analytical, I think and I think and then I come back and rethink something again. I have had to apologize repeatedly to folks (stop laughing), to make sure “everything is ok” and the one that really caught me off guard was calling somebody else a liar! I finally had to throw my hands up and say, “Who shall save me from myself!” (That was my first sermon preached years ago, that I had to reach for and take a hold of it). It stops here. Enough is enough! The Lord strong and mighty will save me from myself, as I surrender or give up these!
What I was experiencing was residue: As I was writing, things were coming up and out of me that I thought were long gone. I mean, I literally relived the story. As the story flowed along with the tears the enemy wanted me to stay there in my past and God said NOT SO!
Reliving the story was showing me where God had truly brought me from, but the enemy wanted me to believe a lie! The truth is, I am a sister that can now bleed, delivered from the hands of my past and into the HANDS OF GOD. The Lord reached down and picked me right up out of those thoughts of the past! The Lord keeps saving me from myself..again…and again.
God’s residue can linger on me; I’ll take that any day! He is truly awesome to me! Let’s be real. We don’t always act right in situations. Call it what it is and move on, leaving it behind. Because things will come up; the difference today is that I know where to go with my drama!
